Beyond Ludlow, an 8-minute screenplay by Sharon Fogarty, hopefully starring Sharon Fogarty as Sheila, Theodora Fogarty as Teddy 
and Karen Christie-Ward as Nora.

BEYOND LUDLOW
A film by Sharon Fogarty © 2007 
Characters:
SHEILA: Mid forties, very recently divorced, struggling to provide for herself in the tiniest Manhattan apartment imaginable. 
Sensible, she tries hard to not get too depressed.
TEDDY: SHEILA’s loveable, wacky sister visiting from Seattle to try to cheer SHEILA up in her newly 
tragic situation of being suddenly single.  Teddy believes in miracles, and so they happen.
NORA: Deceased lady in a casket.


INTERIOR, extreme close up of door jam. A cockroach stares up at the action which we can only hear but do not see.

SFX: An upright piano groans as it is being lifted up, then thumped stair after stair. The roach looks on curiously. SHEILA’s voice is heard as she pleads with the movers.


SHEILA (over roach visual)
Ouch. Please, um. It’s an old piano. If you could just, um… Great, thanks. I’ll get the door.

The roach scurries away as the scene fades.

MUSIC FADES IN: Song: “Hey Michelle”.

FADE UP on interior SHEILA’s apartment on Ludlow Street. It is newly painted and SHEILA is trying to move in, unpacking, placing several self help books on a shelf including “Fear of Intimacy”, “Getting the Love You Want,” “A Course in Miracles” and “He’s Just Not that Into You.”

MONTAGE, SEVERAL CUTS to, Sheila cleaning out the bathroom, the ceilings, unpacking bedding and furniture, taking kitties out of their carriers, feeding them, scrubbing out the refrigerator, oven, etc. Eventually, Sheila crashes in the living room floor as last lyric to song ends… “…’cause men don’t call.”

CUT TO NEXT MORNING, INTERIOR SHEILA’S APT. Sheila wakes from her airbed and there are several quick cuts to making coffee, feeding cats, giving Gracie insulin. Sheila drinks coffee while looking out of the only window in the apartment, covered with an iron grate into a concrete back yard. Quickly the image fast forwards to the afternoon and the sun is about to set.

SFX Doorbell and Teddy yelling, “Yoo hoo!”

Teddy enters in a floral dress. She wears a straw hat and carries bohemian type bags, colorful, lively, we’re aware that it’s Spring.

TEDDY
(looking at the tiny apartment which SHEILA has tried so desperately to fix up) Oh my garsh!!! It’s Paradise?

SHEILA
You think?

TEDDY
Oh, Shee. It’s like when I visited you years ago in Astoria when you had the place to yourself for ten minutes, after you shooed the other boyfriend away. But, like, a million times better!

SHEILA
Thanks. Do you want a glass of wine?

TEDDY
Does the Pope shit in the woods?

SHEILA
Does Raggedy Ann have a cotton crotch?

TEDDY
Is Anne Frank claustrophobic?

SHEILA
Um, does a bull… uh, have testicles?

TEDDY
Do you have bad luck with men?

SHEILA
(After a pause) You win.

TEDDY
I know. Hi Mallie!

Mallie the cat enters.

TEDDY
Hi Gracie!

Gracie the other cat enters. Sheila pours the wine and they sit at stools in the kitchen.

TEDDY
Is this your only window?

SHEILA
Yeah.

TEDDY
Do you want to make it bigger?

SHEILA
You mean…

MONTAGE to the tune “In a Jar” as Ted reveals that she is carrying power tools, a drill, an ax. Together they make the window much larger, climb through and jump up and down cheering.

CUT TO, exterior, early evening, in concrete backyard. Medium close up of Barbie dolls roasting on the grill as the music from previous scene fades. Shot expands to reveal Ted and Sheila in beach chairs drinking umbrella drinks.

TEDDY
That was excellent. This is a great place.

SHEILA
Put your shirt on.

It is revealed that Ted has taken her shirt off for some reason.

SHEILA
Ted, the window is huge. I have no glass, no frames, no curtains or protection or anything.


TEDDY
We could make a curtain.

SHEILA
Yeah…

Scene fades on the Barbies as the two doze off. Resume in morning, SFX birds singing, traffic honks and whirs out on the street. Camera refocuses on the Barbies who have melted through the grill, then pans back to show Sheila and Ted asleep in the chairs, their umbrella drinks empty.

TEDDY
(Jolting awake) Oh, my God, I need some sugar.

SHEILA
(Waking up) Wow, I can’t believe it’s morning. I’ll make us some breakfast.

TEDDY
(growls) Coffee!

SHEILA
Okay (exits to kitchen)

Ted pees in the corner of the yard, then stands, stretches and hears that SHEILA is playing some Bach . Ted starts to dance to the Bach, but with a kind of hip hop routine. SFX of neighbors yelling, “Take it off!” is heard. Ted shouts back:

TEDDY
Throw money!

Money is thrown from the building. Ted starts to undress but is rescued by SHEILA.

CUT TO interior, eating breakfast. They smear canned strawberry frosting on top of a pumpernickel bagel and drink champagne.

TEDDY
Hey, Shee, you wanna go to a funeral?

SHEILA
A what?

TEDDY
A funeral. I think it would cheer you up.

SHEILA

Yeah, maybe. Let’s go to the thrift store, first.

TEDDY
Decent.

CUT TO, interior funeral/wake. An exposed coffin reveals an old woman, though her hair is still quite brunette. She wears a knitted hair net/cap. Mourners circle the coffin, pay their respects and move on. Ted and Sheila wear hot black lace dresses and smeared lipstick. They kneel at her coffin, occasionally sipping from flasks.

TEDDY
(Prays with eyes lowered, to corpse) Dear Nina.


SHEILA
Nora.

TEDDY
Nora, whatever. Thank you for living on this earth. I’m sure you were a good mother.

SHEILA
She didn’t have any children, they said.

TEDDY
Oh (To Nora), then I’m sure you were a good whatever. But please know that you were loved. Even by us. SHEILA and Teddy, who hardly knew you.

Ted climbs into the casket on top of Nora.

SHEILA
Ted? Teddy?

Ted hugs Nora as guests look on completely dumbfounded. A Man yells from the crowd.

MAN
So this is why Nora never married.

TEDDY
I love you, Nora. I love you.

Nora’s eyes open. She looks around, at Teddy, at the mourners. She rises, assisted by Teddy.

NORA
Thank you. Thank you both, my darling children.

SHEILA
Holy shit.


Members at wake faint, throw up, etc.

TEDDY
You’re welcome Nora. Please visit SHEILA. She lives at Ludlow Street.

NORA
I love Ludlow Street.

TEDDY
We have to go. There are others who need to be freed from their images.

NORA
(Intently) Whatever. Bless you my child.

TEDDY
Bless the be-jesus out of you, Nora.

SHEILA
Jesus Christ. Ted, let’s get out of here.

TEDDY
(Bows her head) Amen.

Ted is yanked away by SHEILA as the small crowd says, “It’s a miracle!” etc.

CUT TO interior, dinner at Sheila’s place. Sha, Teddy and Nora are present. In the background is heard “Big Fat Angel.”

NORA
Anyway, after I left the convent…

Over the following, Sheila goes to the window and stares out at the sun fading in the west.

TEDDY
Yes?

NORA
It seemed that I became more available to men. But I didn’t want to tell my family. I didn’t think it was any of their business. They would likely just judge me. I preferred they just continued to think of me as a nun, you know?

TEDDY
Totally.

Scene fades, music gets louder as the credits roll.

~ T H E E N D ~